Thiền sư Gomtesh
Không rỏ ông đã rời bỏ cuộc sống trần gian để lên Hy Mã Lạp Sơn lúc nào, nhưng sau bốn năm tu thiền trên Hi Mã Lạp sơn , cựu Tổng thống Hoa Kỳ George Bush đã giác ngộ và đã trở về Mỹ với pháp danh "Gomtesh."
Ông đã xuất hiện trên bải biển Jacksonville, Florida, trên môt chiếc thuyền gổ mộc mạc tự chế, với diện mao an vui, điềm đạm khi trò chuyện với những nguời bu quanh đang quan sát ông với sự kinh ngạc.
Ông nói "Gần 4 năm đã trôi qua kể từ khi tôi ra đi để tìm giải đáp cho những huyền bí của cuộc sống, và bây giờ thời gian lại trả tôi về quê quán của mình."
Đứng bên cạnh ông là một tu sĩ trẻ tên là Dawa mà ông đã kết bạn trong 2 năm tu học ở Tây Tạng, và con sơn dương mà ông xem như một đạo hữu.
"Tôi trở về đây sau khi đã ngộ đạo để hướng dẫnchúng sinh cùng tinh tấn trên bước đường Chân, Thiện, Mỹ."
Vị cựu Thống Đốc 66 tuổi của tiểu bang Texas nói tiếp: "Thấy được con đường sáng trước mặt là hòa nhập vào Hiện Thực (Thực Tế) của mình và đồng hóa với Viên Giác (Tâm Thức Toàn Vẹn, Thuần Túy) của mình."
Thiền sư Gomtesh kể lại rằng ông đã vân du khắp vùng Tây Tạng trong nhiều tháng trước khi quyết định dồn hết tâm tư vào việc tu tập và phát huy "Thiền Đốn Ngộ."
Sau đó, ông đã ẩn tu trong vòng một năm trời trên đỉnh Hy Mã Lạp Sơn đầy gió tuyết.
Hình như ông đã mất ba ngón chân trong thời gian này vì thời tiết quá khắc nghiệt!
Đặc biệt nhất là ông nhắc nhở mọi người đừng gọi ông là George Bush nữa mà hãy xử dụng "pháp danh" của ông.
"Chức vị Tổng Thống, vị hiền thê, và hai cô con gái của tôi đã hiện hữu ở một bình diện mà ở mức độ tâm linh ngày hôm nay thì tôi không nhận ra."
"Giờ đây, tôi, Gomtesh, là một con người chân thật hơn, với tất cả mọi lổi lầm quá khứ đã được xóa bỏ, và hiện đang dấn thân vào cuộc sống của thế giới phi vật chất."
George vừa dứt lời thì nhắm mắt và hít thở sâu như để mời gọi mọi người xung quanh hãy yên lặng và "chứng nghiệm sự bao la của vũ trụ."
Khi được hỏi về hàng nghìn sinh mệnh đã hy sinh trong cuộc chiến Iraq, thiền sư Gomtesh nhắc nhở mọi người : "Sự chết không hề là điểm kết thúc của cuộc sống, mà chỉ là một trạng thái hiện hữu mới mà thôi." Ông nói tiếp : "Khi bạn là Tổng Tư Lệnh của một siêu cường quốc, đôi khi bạn phải đối diện với những quyết định khó khăn. Bây giờ thì ai cũng có thể phê phán dễ dàng mọi hành động quá khứ, nhưng khi đất nước chúng ta bị tấn công thì không ai có thể làm khác hơn được. Tôi sẽ làm y như vậy nếu tình thế lại xảy ra như vậy."
"Hình như cuộc hành trình của tôi vẫn chưa chấm dứt." ông nói thêm sau môt vài giây im lặng, rồi sau đó cùng các bạn đồng hành leo trở lên thuyền để chèo ra biển.
*****Lược dich Tâm .
George W. Bush Returns To America After Spending 4 Years In The Himalayas
The Onion NEWS • Foreign Policy • Politics • Politicians • ISSUE 48•39 • Sep 25, 2012
JACKSONVILLE, FL—Garbed in unwashed robes and wearing a long, gray, wispy beard, former president George W. Bush returned to the United States this morning after spending four years on a spiritual journey in the Himalayas.
Sources said Bush, who hasn’t been seen in America since abandoning his Crawford, TX ranch and Secret Service detail at the end of his presidency, appeared on the shore in Jacksonville, FL, emerging from what appeared to be a crude self-built wooden boat and exhibiting a gentle, placid countenance as he addressed surprised onlookers.
“Nearly four years have passed since I embarked on my search for the answers to life's mysteries, and now the complex passages of time have returned me here once more, to my homeland,” said the bedraggled yet serenely smiling 43rd president of the United States, accompanied by a young monk named Dawa whom he met during his two years studying in a Tibetan monastery, and by a mountain goat he reportedly adopted as a spiritual companion. “I return to my home enlightened by the wisdom of 10,000 lifetimes, so that I might guide all idle souls along the oft secluded path of generosity, truth, and righteousness.”
A file photo of Bush while he was living a nomadic existence in the Himalayas.
“I am but a gently falling leaf, buoyed by mountain winds,” the 66-year-old former Texas governor continued. “To see the way forward is to be connected to your own reality and be one with your consciousness—complete and pure, unburdened and without want."
By his own account, Bush trekked across the Tibetan countryside for several months before deciding to devote his life to the study and teaching of transcendental meditation, later spending a year in seclusion during which he scaled Himalayan peaks while “guided only by the loudly whispering wind and harsh, merciless snow.” Sources reported the famed Republican is missing three toes from frostbite he suffered during his travels before mastering the ability to raise and lower his body temperature at will.
Throughout the makeshift press conference, the former president refused to respond to the name George Bush, repeatedly reminding onlookers that he now preferred to be called “Gomtesh,” a moniker reportedly bestowed upon him by members of the monastery after he “passed through to another realm of being.”
“My presidency, my wife, my daughters, and my name are all elements of a plane of existence that my fully realized soul no longer comprehends,” said Bush, describing the vows of renunciation he took upon entering the monastery, which required him to disown all vestiges of his former life. “Now I, Gomtesh, am a truer being, forgiven the sins of my past life and devoted to a life beyond the material world.”
Bush then closed his eyes and drew a deep breath, hushing bystanders who attempted to speak by telling them to “experience for a moment the expression of the universe.”
While several of the onlookers on site for Bush’s arrival were vocally critical of the former president’s administration, they admitted they were nonetheless impressed by his seeming connectedness to a higher spiritual force.
“I can’t say I ever agreed with the guy when he was in office, but he really seems be on some higher spiritual plane now,” Jacksonville resident Sean Davis said. “When someone asked him about his views on the upcoming election, he talked for 30 minutes about how power is but a raw diamond, precious when handled by an expert cutter yet, in the wrong hands, often impure and corrupting. Or something like that. It was beautiful.”
“Even being in his presence just felt…illuminating,” Davis added.
Though the former president remained relatively elusive while commenting on his eight years in office and discussing his political legacy, when asked about the thousands of casualties in the Iraq War, he reminded those gathered that “dying was not the end of life’s journey, but merely a new state of existence.”
“We are all eternal beings waiting to accept the true nature of death, which, in many ways, is merely a new beginning for the human soul,” Bush said. “And, you know, just to clarify, we know those soldiers did not die in vain because that would be saying that invading Iraq was the wrong decision, and I don’t believe that it was. When you’re the commander in chief of the most powerful nation on earth, sometimes you have to make difficult choices, and not everyone’s going to like those choices, but I’d like to see anyone else here make the call, because, I’ll tell you first hand, it’s a tough one. People who criticize the decision now speak with the benefit of a hindsight none of us had when our country was being attacked. The fact is, Saddam Hussein was a bad guy, and I think anyone would have made the same call I did, even if there were never any weapons of mass destruction. I would do it all again if I had to.”
“Aw, dammit,” Bush added after a pause. “Well, folks, it appears my journey is not yet complete.”
The former president and his companions then reboarded their vessel and drifted back out to sea.
Source:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/george-w-bush-returns-to-america-after-spending-4,29688/
Pilgrimage Journal http://cimarronline.blogspot.ca/
George W. Bush Returns To America After Spending Four Years In The Himalayas
JACKSONVILLE, FL—Garbed in unwashed robes and wearing a long, gray, whispy beard, former president George W. Bush returned to the United States this morning after four years on a spiritual journey in the Himalayas.
Sources said Bush, who hasn’t been seen in America since abandoning his Crawford, TX ranch and Secret Service detail at the end of his presidency, appeared on the shore in Jacksonville, FL, emerging from what appeared to be a crude self-built wooden boat and exhibiting a gentle, placid countenance as he addressed surprised onlookers.
“I am but a gently falling leaf, buoyed by mountain winds,” the 66-year-old former Texas governor said. “To see the way forward is to be connected to your own reality and be one with your consciousness—complete and pure, unburdened and without want."
Throughout the makeshift press conference, the former president refused to respond to the name George Bush, repeatedly reminding onlookers that he now preferred to be called “Gomtesh.” Sources reported the famed Republican is missing three toes from frostbite he suffered during his travels before mastering the ability to raise and lower his body temperature at will.
(from The Onion)
*****
Phản hồi của bạn đọc
*Minh Luong - Tin không đúng
* Loan Phan : Photoshop ?
*TanKhoa 13: Chỉ là cá tháng Tư
* Kim Oanh P- The Onion.com nổi tiếng là trang báo viết truyện cười chọc ghẹo người khác.
Thí dụ sau đây là tin :
TT. Obama không biết ăn làm sao nói làm sao với quốc dân : Ông đã lỡ cán chết cựu TT Jimmy Carter đêm qua .
Obama Not Sure How To Tell Nation This, But He Ran Over Jimmy Carter With Car Last Night
http://www.theonion.com/articles/obama-not-sure-how-to-tell-nation-this-but-he-ran,33402/
The president informs the nation of Jimmy Carter’s death, and apologizes for not having looked to his left before turning.
WASHINGTON—Sighing and shaking his head, a shaken and deeply saddened President Obama appeared before the nation Tuesday to deliver the news that he had struck and killed former president Jimmy Carter with his car while driving through downtown Washington last night.
“My fellow Americans, I don’t quite know how to tell you this,” a visibly somber Obama said during the impromptu press conference. “But last night I was out driving, and, um, [heavy sigh], I might as well just say it because I need to hear my voice say it: I ran over the nation’s 39th president, Jimmy Carter.”
“And, well, he’s dead,” Obama continued. “Jimmy Carter is dead.”
According to Obama, he was driving through the intersection at Pennsylvania Avenue and 19th Street when Carter “came out of nowhere.” Saying that it all happened so fast, the president told reporters that he saw something appear in front of him and then he heard a loud thump as if he had hit a deer.
Obama reportedly remembered that there was a split second when he thought he saw Jimmy Carter’s face bounce off his windshield, but figured there was no way it could have been the former president of the United States. When he turned over the body to inspect it, however, he identified it as the Nobel Peace Prize winner and former Georgia peanut farmer.
Obama said he wished he could be addressing the nation under different circumstances, and admitted that he is currently experiencing a severe case of shock.
“I had the light, but I could have been paying better attention,” Obama said, a tear streaking down his face. “And that’s what kills me, you know? This was my fault. It was an accident but it was my fault. You take your eye off the road for a second, and…bam, you hit Jimmy Carter with your car. I’m actually sort of numb right now. Jimmy Carter is gone and I am the one responsible.”
“Why exactly President Carter was even carrying two bags of groceries in downtown Washington, D.C. when he lives in Georgia, I have no idea,” the president went on to say. “And why he was buying groceries at 2 a.m. we’ll never know. And perhaps I should stop going on my late-night drives to clear my head. But none of that matters now. I’m sorry about this. I am so, so sorry. Goddammit!”
The president went on to extend his sincerest apologies to former first lady Rosalynn Carter, saying that he would do anything to help in what he is sure must be a difficult time.
Breaking down further and deviating from his prepared remarks, Obama told the country that if he could sign a bill that would bring Jimmy Carter back to life, he would. The president then noted that when you’re 88 years old the body just isn’t well equipped to handle blunt-force trauma, especially from a car going 40 mph.
Gripping the podium with both hands, Obama then stared down at the ground, began breathing heavily, looked back into the camera as if he was about to continue speaking, and then started dry heaving.
“I would have done anything—anything—to keep that man alive!” Obama said. “He looked up at me right before the very end. I’m not sure whether he realized it was me, or if at that moment he was thinking about—of all the people to hit him with a car—how strangely ironic and weird and bizarre that the president of the United States had hit him. I don’t know whether or not he was of sound mind to think about how he, too, had been president, and how there have only been 44 presidents, and how we usually travel by motorcade, and how this probably should have been avoided from an operational and statistical standpoint. But when he looked at me, there was no hate in his eyes.”
“He looked very peaceful,” Obama continued. “And then he just drifted away.”
James Earl “Jimmy” Carter Jr. was born Oct. 1, 1924 in Plains, Georgia. He was one of four children born to James Earl Carter and Bessie Lillian Gordy. He is survived by his wife, his brother “Billy,” three sons, three granddaughters, and two great-grandsons. He brokered the Camp David Accords in 1978, and is the only U.S. president whose death has been caused by the sitting president.
